Men's and women's sober living

Why most homes are single-gender

Early recovery is a vulnerable time. Single-gender homes cut down on romantic relationships between residents, which many programs see as a common distraction from recovery and a frequent cause of conflict. They can also feel safer, especially for residents with a history of trauma, and make it easier to talk openly in house meetings.

What to look for in a women's home

• Safety: locks, a safe neighborhood, and clear rules about visitors
• Staff or house leaders who understand trauma, and links to women's recovery groups
• Whether the home accepts mothers with children, or allows children to visit
• Support for pregnancy or postpartum care, if that applies

What to look for in a men's home

• Structure: a clear schedule, work expectations, and accountability
• A house manager or senior residents who model recovery
• Access to work, transit, and meetings, since many residents are rebuilding employment

When a co-ed or specialty home fits better

Co-ed homes usually keep bedrooms or floors separate and have strict rules on relationships between residents. Some people, including many LGBTQ+ residents, feel more at home in a co-ed or affirming home than in a traditional single-gender one. Specialty homes also serve young adults, veterans, and people leaving the justice system. If your loved one fits one of these groups, ask homes directly whom they serve.

Finding a home

In our sober living directory, choose a state and city. Where a city has them, you'll find separate pages for men's, women's, and co-ed homes, and each listing shows whom the home serves. For more questions to ask, see our guide to choosing a sober living home.