Sober living house rules: what to expect
Every home writes its own rules, but most share the same core. Knowing them ahead of time helps your loved one pick a home that fits, and helps everyone know what to expect after move-in.
The rules most homes share
| Rule | What it usually means |
|---|---|
| Stay sober | No alcohol or drugs, in the house or anywhere else. Prescribed medication is handled by the home’s own medication policy. |
| Drug and alcohol testing | Random or scheduled tests, sometimes weekly. Refusing a test usually counts as a positive. |
| Curfew | Often stricter for new residents and relaxed as they show stability. |
| House meetings | A weekly meeting to handle chores, problems, and house business. |
| Chores | A shared rotation for cleaning and keeping the house in order. |
| Work, school, or treatment | Residents are expected to be working, looking for work, in school, or in a program. |
| Recovery meetings | Many homes require a set number of 12-step or other recovery meetings each week. |
| Guests | Visiting hours, no overnight guests, and often no guests of the opposite sex in bedrooms. |
| Rent | Paid on time, weekly or monthly. |
Rules for new residents
Many homes ask more of residents in their first weeks: an earlier curfew, more frequent testing, no overnight passes, and sometimes a sponsor or a set number of meetings. These limits usually ease as a resident shows they are following the rules. Ask how long the early phase lasts and what earns more freedom.
What happens after a relapse
This is the rule families most need to understand before move-in, because policies differ a lot. Some homes require anyone who uses to leave right away. Others allow a resident to stay if they are honest, return to treatment, or agree to a stricter plan.
- Does a relapse mean automatic discharge, or is it decided case by case?
- If someone has to leave, how much notice do they get, and where do they go?
- Is any prepaid rent refunded?
- Will the home contact family, and only with your loved one's permission?
A good home has a clear, written answer and helps a resident who has to leave get to a safe next step, such as detox or treatment, rather than simply putting them out.
Medication rules
Most homes require residents to declare every medication they take, and many keep medications locked up or check them. Policies on medication for addiction, such as buprenorphine or methadone, vary. Our guide to sober living that allows MAT explains what to ask.
What happens when someone breaks a rule
Minor breaks, like a missed chore or a late return, usually bring a warning, an extra chore, or an earlier curfew. Repeated or serious breaks, such as violence, theft, or bringing drugs into the house, usually mean discharge. The written rules should say which is which.
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